*** WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL WEBSITE OF WESTBRIDGE UNIVERSITY *** ADMISSIONS NOW OPEN *** REMINDER: THE FOUNTAIN IN THE QUAD IS NOT A URINAL *** DINING HALL SPECIAL TODAY: WHATEVER IS LEFT IN YOUR MINI FRIDGE *** LIQUOR IS STILL OUT OF STOCK FOR FRESHMEN. STOP ASKING *** WESTBRIDGE IS NOT REAL. PLEASE STOP SENDING US TRANSCRIPTS ****** WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL WEBSITE OF WESTBRIDGE UNIVERSITY *** ADMISSIONS NOW OPEN *** REMINDER: THE FOUNTAIN IN THE QUAD IS NOT A URINAL *** DINING HALL SPECIAL TODAY: WHATEVER IS LEFT IN YOUR MINI FRIDGE *** LIQUOR IS STILL OUT OF STOCK FOR FRESHMEN. STOP ASKING *** WESTBRIDGE IS NOT REAL. PLEASE STOP SENDING US TRANSCRIPTS ***
Welcome to the Official Website of Westbridge University!
NEW!
PHOTO REMOVED at the Dean’s request (Christmas party, 2019)
A Message from the Dean
Dear students, parents, and people who clicked the wrong link,
Welcome to Westbridge University, where since 1887 we have turned promising young minds into people who know exactly how cold a beer should be. Our freshmen arrive with a bed, a mini fridge, a pen and some supermarket beer. They leave with a network, a reputation and, occasionally, a degree.
Go Wolves!
— Dean Harold P. Buttersworth III (currently “resting”)
IMPORTANT NOTICE: Westbridge University is not a real university. It is the campus of THE FRATERNITY, a first-person co-op game for 2 players, built in Unity 6 and currently in development. You start as a nerd doing favours and climb all the way to Campus Legend. Please stop sending us your transcripts. » Join the waitlist
Old Main, photographed by the Office of Communications in 1998. Nothing has changed since. Nothing will ever change. [More photos]
Campus News & Announcements
Date
Announcement
Your phone now knows who drinks what.NEW! The contacts network on your ORBIA shows which drinks each resident likes. Remembering their birthdays is still not supported.
Night deliveries to rooms now pay 1.5×. Campus Safety reminds residents that “I’m just going to bed” has never once worked.
Residents now taste your beer straight from your hand. The Health Center asks students to stop accepting open bottles from strangers. Nobody listens.
Housing reminds Olmo Hall that whatever lives in the vegetable drawer of fridge #3 has been granted tenure. Do not open it. Do not feed it.
The fountain in the Quad is NOT a urinal. This is the fourth reminder this week. You know who you are, Kevin.
Course Catalog · Fall Semester
Every course below is a real system in the game. The credits are not real. Nothing here is accredited.
Code
Course
Description
ACAD 204
Homework for Hire
Accept jobs on Gram, pick up the folder from your locker, solve it at your desk and hand it back in person. $5–10 per sheet. Academic integrity sold separately.
FERM 210
Applied Fermentation & Taste Testing
Residents drink straight from your hand and judge. “…I’ll call you” means an order. “…I didn’t like it” means drink it yourself.
ARTS 115
Label Design for Questionable Demijohns
Draw a logo with the mouse, cut it out with scissors, tape it on. Unlabelled demijohns fail automatically.
SOCI 150
Networking (Social, Not Computers)
You start knowing exactly one person: Ethan Brooks. Earn trust, get introduced, meet all of Olmo Hall and Patio Hall opens.
MOBL 101
Running a Business from Your Phone
The ORBIA OB-24 has eight apps. Gram is one feed shared by every player, where residents post, like and order.
ECON 300
Gambling Economics
Six-seat No-Limit Hold’em at the Aurel Casino. Tuition refunds not available.
HLTH 101
Itemised Healthcare
Westbridge General Hospital patches you up and bills you line by line. Ice pack: $54. Dignity: not covered.
Official Student Rankings
Each rank unlocks new stock in the campus shops. Everyone can see where you stand.
Rank
Title
Requirements
I
NERD
Owns a pen. Has never been invited to anything. Will sell you homework.
II
PLEDGE
Model Student and Popularity at level 3, five homework jobs, five alcohol sales. Unlocks liquor and the $1,800 mixer.
III
FRAT STAR
redacted redacted redacted [REDACTED BY THE DEAN]
IV
CAMPUS LEGEND
redacted redacted redacted [REDACTED BY LEGAL]
ALERT
A Message from Campus Safety
Two (2) guards and one (1) CCTV post protect the residence from fun. They search, confiscate and escort you out of the building.
If a guard asks “Delivering something, are we?”, do not panic. Do not run. Do not say “just going to bed.” They know.
Confiscated beer is “destroyed.” The guards have seemed very happy lately.
Residence Life: Meet Your Neighbors!
The residents of Olmo Hall and Patio Hall. Earn their trust and they’ll introduce you to their friends. Lose it and the whole hall finds out.
Has not done laundry since orientation.
Owes you $15. Will never pay.
Microwaves fish at 3 AM.
Thinks the fire alarm is a playlist.
Sold the same homework to three people.
Will taste anything you hand over.
Knows a guy. The guy is also you.
In the bathroom since Tuesday.
Campus Photo Gallery (updated 2004)
Olmo Hall at dusk. The waving is mandatory.
Ethan needs 3 beers. Ethan always needs 3 beers.
Aurel Casino. Where tuition goes to die.
A classroom. Attendance is technically required.
Faculty Directory
The Fraternity is made by an independent team of two in Spain. Office hours: never.
Name
Department
Javi Aragoneses
Co-founder · Code & design
redacted name(name withheld until they stop being shy)
FOUND: one (1) left shoe, Olmo Hall stairwell. Smells like Galician Star.
FOUND: a pen. Freshman, this is yours. You will need it.
LOST: my dignity. Last seen at the Aurel Casino. No reward.
LOST: the will to attend Dr. Becker’s 8 AM lecture. If found, keep it.
FOUND: a kidney, lightly used. Probably someone’s hospital deposit.
Apply Now!!!
FREE!
No transcripts. No essays. No entrance exam. Just an e-mail address and a pulse.
We only write about playtests and the launch of The Fraternity. We are far too hungover to spam you.
WESTBRIDGE UNIVERSITY · OFFICE OF ADMISSIONS
*** CONGRATULATIONS!!! ***
We are pleased to inform you that you have been admitted to Westbridge University.
Orientation details, playtest invites and the release date of The Fraternity will reach you by e-mail. Check your spam folder, freshman. That is where we live.
Dean Harold P. Buttersworth III (dictated but not read)
ATHLETICS DEPARTMENT: THIS PAGE IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION (SINCE 2004)